Can we stop normalizing the comments like, “I’m so glad my kids went back to school today,” “I’m not looking forward to summer break,” or “Spring break was so long”?
It’s time we take a step back and examine what these phrases really mean. Often, when people say this, they express relief that their children won’t be at home as much—not necessarily that their kids are learning, growing, and becoming the intellectual individuals they are capable of being.
What message are we sending to our children when we express relief at their absence, rather than celebrating their growth? What subconscious seeds are we planting in their minds about being an inconvenience or burden? How would we feel if the people we love, the ones we trust the most, made similar comments about us?
I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve said these things too. I’m not immune to feeling overwhelmed at times. But somewhere along the way, I shifted from going along with these common sayings to feeling a deep discomfort when I hear them now. The truth is, it breaks my heart.
Yes, parenting can be incredibly hard, and we all experience moments of overwhelm. But when we project our exhaustion onto our children, we need to pause and reflect on the message we’re sending.
The Product of Our Design
I believe American culture is set up in a way that fosters these feelings of stress and overwhelm. Think about it: Both parents often work outside the home, children are taken care of or educated by someone else who may not share the same values, and then everyone comes back together at the end of the day—exhausted—and expected to mesh perfectly like a well-oiled machine.
While it’s not inevitable that every family will fall into this pattern, it’s essential to remain conscious of our family dynamics. We need to evaluate how we’re all handling our roles and whether they align with the structure that works best for our household.
A Challenge to Parents: Reframe the Narrative
If you’ve ever caught yourself making these comments, or if you’ve heard them from others, I challenge you to reframe the mindset. Let’s stop focusing on the burden of having our children around and instead embrace the opportunity to be present in their lives. Instead of counting down the days until school resumes or looking forward to a break, let’s acknowledge the precious time we have with our children as a gift.
Parenting isn’t just about surviving the days until we get a moment of rest; it’s about cherishing the moments we have with our children, no matter how chaotic they may feel. Our mindset can shape our children’s perception of their worth and the joy they bring into our lives. Let’s make sure we’re planting seeds of love, appreciation, and growth.
Remember, being a parent is a tough job, but it’s also a privilege. Let’s embrace the challenge and find ways to make the most of the time we have with our children, rather than wishing it away.
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Until next time…
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